There are many reasons why I love my job. But nothing gives me more glee then the monthly email pestergram from our Tech Services Coordinator reminding us, with just the right amount of snark and sarcasm, to please get our book orders in on time. I’ve started saving the pestergrams and I’ve suggested to their creator he think about saving them to and publish a book out of them, or a blog, whatever, all I know is that they need to be shared because they provide a good chuckle on rainy day:
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September 2009
Soon we will once again be flush with funds from our most benevolent state and local governments. What better way to celebrate this good fortune than with the first book order of the new academic year. (“New academic year”, doesn’t that just give you goosebumps?!) I have chosen September 10, 2009 as the date for your well thought out and doggedly researched book lists to reach me for processing. Thanking you in advance for your cheery cooperation and prompt attention to this matter. Let’s have a great semester!
Your much beloved colleague,
Kenyon
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November 2009
Dare I say it, “Let’s talk turkey!” Thanksgiving approaches and before you become totally goofy with talk of all those silly little mundane blessings you feel compelled to go on and on about, take pause to the give thanks for the bright spot in your otherwise boring and mediocre professional life, interacting with me. Stay in my good graces by providing your book request list by November 20.
Your much beloved colleague,
Kenyon
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December 2009
Ho! Ho! Ho! No, that’s not Tiger Woods voicemail greeting, that’s Santa Claus lingo! So as you whirl and whiz about preparing for this holiday season, take time out from doing your Christmas shopping on the Internet at the reference computer and sending Facebook Christmas greetings on your office computer and make this little old elf happy by getting your December book order requests to me by Dec. 17. Last one to comply gets coal in their stocking.
Happy Holidays, Kenyon
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January 2010
Okay, people, listen up! It’s a new year! Put away the Christmas cookies, forget about those resolutions you never intended to keep and let’s get back to work! Before the new VP of Finance figures out we are actually spending money on books and shuts us down, let’s get an order together. Send your favorite tech. services guy a list by Jan. 20(or before for you overachievers…oh,yeah, there aren’t any of those working here) and I will, once again, do what I do to keep the library going!
Happy New Year!
Kenyon
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February 2010
What could be a better endeavor to pull our sorry depressed psyches out of the winter doldrums than putting together some nice book order lists to keep Uncle Kenny happy? But let me be the one to warn you; Mean Old Connie has decided that Draconian measures must be instituted to stem the flow of money from our book budget brought on by the profligate spending orgy you librarians have been carrying on since the beginning of the Fall semester. Shame on you! So as you wipe the spittle from your chins and scratch your little heads, remember only essential titles will be considered for purchase until the murky budget crystal ball clears up. Right, Connie? I’d like to begin processing your feeble attempts at book selecting around Feb. 19.
Thanks,
Kenyon
All those wonderfully creatively complicated but tactful metaphors make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
